An interesting read from our friends from Oregon on the subject of public exposure, usually by men to women, and the power gender dynamics at play.

author: Kirsten Anderberg e-mail:

Weenie wagging. Whipping out a penis in public at women where no one can see. It is not about nudity. It is not about sex. It is about intimidation, it is about control over women, it is about power. But who is really vulnerable?

by Kirsten Anderberg –

Weenie Waggers. Guys who get off on indecent exposure. As a young girl, I had many an unwanted dick thrust upon my naked eyes, and I was scared. These men chose spots that were isolated, they waited until there was no one else around, they were intimidating and scary, it was verging on rape and you could not tell if you were ABOUT to be raped if you did not get out of there fast. It definitely is more than nudity. I am fine with nakedness and nudity. This is something else. And it is not sexual either. I seriously doubt these men EVER get a reaction of “ooh, neat, can we have sex?” from the women these men assault. This is a power move by men on women. Plain and simple. And it is the kind of power move that reinforces a Patriarchy. So it must come down NOW!

The first assault of this manner that I remember was when I was in junior high, walking home from school. A boy would not stop following me, then walked right next to me, then whipped out his penis and I was terrified, I said NOTHING, and quickly walked, with him next to me, right into the neighborhood store and went straight to the store manager for help. The boy waited outside in the phone booth for me. The manager went out and talked to the boy and he left. I was fearful of that route to walk home, and random penis’, from then on.

As I entered my late teens and early twenties, I would have this weenie wagging occur regularly near me. One time it was on the back of a Metro bus in Seattle. Another time I was walking through a Seattle park and it happened. I even went to thrift stores and it happened! Men are just waving their dicks out where only one young woman can see it all over the place! I asked a male friend if men talk about this phenomenon, because women sure do. My male friend said, “No, men do not sit around and say, “So I whipped it out on First Avenue yesterday” to one another.” And I think it is interesting that these men whip their dicks out in public, yet do not want anyone to know.

This whole thing turned radically for me once at the Vancouver Music Festival. Some women friends and I were bathing topless in water…and these men began to oggle us from the banks, sexually. We all decided to SCARE the men. So we RAN AT THE MEN, TOPLESS, SHRIEKING LIKE BLACK PANTHERS, LOOKING CRAZY AS CAN BE! The men ran in fear, I am not kidding! It was incredibly empowering and I started thinking. You know, these weenie waggers are adament on hiding and doing this where only the woman sees. So THAT must be the point of weakness in all this. So I decided to start punching holes in the anonyminity of weenie wagers.

The first one I remember vividly was a thrift store assault. I was in line with my Motown band and we were buying costumes. I paid first and was standing at the register as my friends were rung out. All of a sudden, one of the dressing room curtains opened and a man looked at me. Next thing he opened the curtain a titch, just at penis level, and showed me his dick. Well, I screamed laughing LOUDLY, “Hey look at that guy in the dressing room jacking off!” The curtain closed quickly. I said “the room with the plaid coat on the floor!” And all of a sudden he grabbed the coat off the floor! We all had a good laugh. Then about 5 minutes later, he opens the dressing room curtain and says loudly, “I was not!” And everyone burst into laughter again. VICTORY! I left feeling empowered instead of assaulted.

In another thrift store in downtown Seattle, I opened a dressing room door for a second to use it. In that brief second it took me to open the door, I saw someone was in there and shut it, yet I could swear a guy turned toward me and jacked off. I went to my friend and said, “This sounds nuts, but I could swear when I just opened that dressing room door, a guy turned to me jacking off.” She said, “Kirsten, you would not IMAGINE that. Tell the woman clerk.” I did and the woman clerk FLEW INTO ACTION. She was an inspiration. She knocked on the dressing room door loudly yelling “I TOLD YOU YOU CANNOT DO THAT IN HERE ANYMORE!!” and she grabbed him by his collar and literally threw him onto the curb. She was a big woman and I could only be impressed. But she also reinforced in me that it is the FEAR that gives the men the power in this. And the minute you are not afraid, but rather ANNOUNCE this behavior, these guys are WAY vulnerable! The power shifts within SECONDS and HARD!

Another one I remember vividly was when I was walking to the co-op through Ravenna Park in Seattle. I started hearing rustling of leaves near me, purposefully trying to get my attention. I looked up the hill near me, and there was a guy, completely naked except tennis shoes, leaning on a tree, jacking off towards me, grinning. Unafraid anymore, my first comment was, “Hmm, you should go do that for your mother.” Then I said, “You know, I know a bunch of large dykes and we want to help guys like you get all the publicity you can. So if you can just wait here for oh, 10 minutes, I will come back with some large dyke friends and we will tie you up on the main Ave with a sign around your neck that says “I was jacking off at women and they tied me up here for all to see.” So please, wait right here, I will be right back!” And I went to the co-op. When I returned, he was gone.

I know of a man in Seattle who has had several indecent exposure charges. I believe he told me in 1995 that he has been charged three times for this. He told me the first ticket was because he was a few feet over the legal line at a nude beach. He then said his second ticket on this was because a bunch of teen girls in a school bus pulled next to his car, one teen flashed him, lifting her top he says, and so, of course, logically, he whipped out his dick in his car and waved it at the girls. He explains this as if this would be ANYONE’S normal reaction. Well, the bus of girls called the police and they arrived at his door to charge him for that. Hopefully, the girls learned a lesson…whether one did flash him or not! But somehow, I do not think HE got the lesson. Just the way he explains it as if he was a victim, says it all!

Another incident I remember was once I was walking on the path by the San Lorenzo River in Santa Cruz and I could see this guy, from my higher vantage point, trying to position himself to weenie wag for two women who were quickly approaching the spot where he was. So, since I am gifted with a voice that can project like a half-mile haler, I just screamed at the top of my lungs right before the women were to stumble on his dick, “Hey everyone, look at that guy wagging his dick out trying to scare women in front of the car dealership down there…” He grabbed his erect dick and tried to jam it in his pants as EVERYONE on the trail looked at him. He ran into the car lot, still trying to jam his huge dick into his pants while everyone watched him trying to retreat. I was the announcer, I was yelling, “There he goes into the car lot…oh no, he is approaching people trying to buy a car and he STILL does not have his pants on properly yet…” Everyone was roaring with laughter. This is the way these things should end, not with women afraid and intimidated and feeling assaulted against their will!

Many men have been angered when I took all the fun of fear and intimidation out of their afternoon by outting them loudly. For some reason, women have been silent in this realm too often out of fear. Look, WE are not the ones vulnerable when men are NAKED IN PUBLIC JACKING OFF, THEY ARE! First off, they are naked or have their genitals exposed, so that is an easy target to begin with. Next, they are doing something they do not want anyone to know they are doing! Usually these things happen where people are within HEARING distance, if not visual distance. I have found if you are LOUD and IMMEDIATELY SAY AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS AS LOUDLY AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE, “HEY LOOK AT THAT GUY JACKING OFF TRYING TO SCARE WOMEN” that the dynamic of power IMMEDIATELY shifts from the man having the power, to the woman. Instantaneousy. As soon as the men find out you are not going to silently play a victim and take that home as baggage yourself, but instead are going to turn that muther on its side and make HIM the vulnerable one AND NOW, these men usually start to RUN away, and I am NOT kidding! TRY IT! I encourage all women to turn this stupid power play on its head each and every time you encounter it. I have not had a one weenie wagging where I have not turned it into trauma for the weenie wagger since that day at the Vancouver Folk Festival back in oh, 1979? I am not saying you should endanger yourself by doing this where no one is around. The only way to make this work is if people are around and could see it if attention is brought to it. Usually, since they are in a public place, waiting to catch women walking by in public, there are others nearby. The men count on our fear to keep silent. So if people are near, just ANNOUNCING IT LOUDLY usually ends it quickly. And you will end up leaving feeling empowered, instead of assaulted. It is truly a great feeling to not fear weenie waggers anymore. And to actually look forward to our encounters now as I ALWAYS win!

>>Originally found here.